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HomeMy WebLinkAbout0049 S S P RopH �, SATURDAY JUNE 71 / 958 DEAR DIARY, TODAY I BUMPED INTO MR.LUCKENDACK,NOW JANITOR OF CRYSTAL SPRINGS GRAMMAR SCHOOL. WE WERE DISCUSSING OlD TIMES AND REALIZED THAT IT WAS JUST 10 YEARS AGO THAT THE CLASS OF'y8 GRADUATED. HE TOLD M£ THAT"$URGESS"' IS NOW MAYOR OF YE OLD£ HOME TOWN AND PAULINE ANDERSON IS HIS VRIYATE SECRETARY.(GF£, IF ONLY POSEY THE 111 WOULD STOP VROPPIN C- DO-NUT CRUMBS DOWN MY NECK.) WE DROPPED INTO NORMA DELK'S "CRUNCHY IUNCHY" FORA SITE TO EAT AND FOUND DICK KING, CHEF. BY THE WAY, KING IS MAKING USE OF GEOMETRY IN DESIGNING- MY NEW DO-NUT WHICH IS GEOMETRICALLY CORRECT. WHIZ£ THERE, WE DISCUSSED THE CAREERS OF SOME OF MY OtD CLASSMATES. GEORGE SMITH IS A WORLD-FAMOUS ARTIST. PERHAPS TffIS IS BECAUSE EVEN MASSY IS 1+IS MODEL. IN THE T1IDDLE OF THE MEAL,A NEWS FLASH CAME OVER THE RADIO THAT JACK GREENE HAD JUST DISCOVERED THE WEST POLL ON ONE OF HIS FAMOUS EXPEDITIONS. AFTER EATING, wE DROVE BY IE HEUP AN PRACHAR VEHICLE SoLON. MR. LE HEUP IS TRAINING- HIS CHILDREN TO BE GREASE-MONKEYS'. I TOOK MR.LUCKENBACH BACK TO THE SCHOOL, SO HE COULD RLSUME HIS JANITORIAL. DUTIES. ( I WISE+ THESE KIDS WOULD STOP PES'TERING.) CONNIF PALMER, ONE-TIME SHORTPIAO (I WISE+ THAT I HAD STUDIED MISS CLEMENTS" SPELLING LESSONS) CONNEI (DARN IT, I SPFILED CONNIE WRONG AGAIN.) CONNIE PALMER ONE TIM SHORTHAND WHIZ OF X.H.S., IS NOW, SO I HEAR, ASSISTANT TO THE fTH VICE PRESIDENT OF GORE's 11VERY STABLE INC. THIS THRIVING BUSINESS IS LO- CATED IN GORES GuLTCH AND FEATURES NAGS, BAGS, AND OLD HAGS. AS I DROVE UP TO TH£ HOUSE, SHOULD I SEE 13UT JANE SI"1ITtT Sf11!NG POP- CORN A M,ECURY IN EVERY BOX. SHE INFORMED ME THAT JUNE 1ASI•ILfy HAS' TAKEN M)SS CLEMENTS POSITION AS ENGLISH INSTRUCTOR AT ZEPHYR HILLS HIGH. UPON PICKING UP MY EVENING PAPER "TURNERS TOWN TRIBUNE"EDITED, PRINTED, AND DISTRIBUTED BY BETTY JO TURNER, WHO SHOULD I FIND IN THE HEADLINES 13UT JOAN STEVE,THE MAD SCIENTIST, I GEATHERED FROM THE ARTICLE THAT SHE IS ABOUT TO COMPLETE HER EXPERIMENT IN F'RESERVING HUMAN LIFE. SHE WILL ATTEMPT TO DEFROST JAYNE KERR, WHOM SHE HAS HAD ON ICE FOR 10 `/EARS: AH YES, TEN YEARS AGO TODAY WAS A GREAT MOMENT IN AMERICAN HISTORY AS IT WAS THE TRIUMPHANT DAY THAT THE SENIOR CLASS OF WAV TURNED LOOSE ON THE WORLD, FORGET(NG HALF OF WHAT THEY HAD LEARNED EFORE THE DOORS HAD CLOSED BEHIND THEM. Nuts!, I GUESS I'LL HAVE TO SIC'N OFF FOR TONIC-Hr DEAR DIARY, BECAUSE lEA BASSE, MY I3IG OLE' WIFE, IS CALLING ME. WE HAVE PROVED MR. CAPPOLA'S THEORY IN SocIALOGy ABOUT FECUNTIPY AN 0 HEREDITY. We HAVE OUR 23 (ONLY, STARTED Too) AND ALL OF THEM HAVE THE ROSkNVOLD NOSE FOR MOLDING IJO—NUTS AROUND. THIS I5 REALLY StEPPINCr Up PRODUCTION. ©©