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Zephyrhills, Florida
June 3, 1964
Mr. John F. Clements
Padded Cell No. 6 7/8
Chattahoochee, Florida
Dear Mr. Clements,
There are rumors that you will soon be cured of your mental condition which I am ashamed to admit
was provoked by our merry little group of hair and cane raisers led by Dale Vought, class president in 1954.
Speaking of Dale, whom I'm sure you remember, this boy is really raking in the shekels. He went
into business for himself after graduation. He is located between the Family Cleaners and Wheeler's Ga-
rage, but you can't miss his big 3-D sign out front: "Jet planes for hire, dogs walked, delivering and scalp-
ing real cheap." Anna Greene is his mechanic to keep the jets in flying shape.
Beulah Arnold and Nola Howell are demonstrators of Eddie McClellan's adjustable-length Catfishmo-
biles. These buggies are really the coming thing. They adjust from a foot long to a block long and are
a lot cheaper than pogo sticks, and have a wheel in the back-seat that steers the rear wheels, (this solves
the back-seat driver problem) and Beulah and Nola quite often fight for the privilege of demonstratinga
back-seat driver.
Dorothy Austin writes music with square notes to be played by her square bell cornet with the shovel
mouthpiece. She says this is to dig the squares.
Speaking of squares Dick Braden has been working for the past ten years on square eggs to prevent
rolling off the tables. Also they stack up better.
Bobby Lou Sibley as you know was married the year we graduated. She and Don have sixteen boys
and they are all 8-star generals in the Junior Woodchucks of America.
Norman Pricher and Paula Staples are still enjoying their long engagement (it started in the eleventh
grade) because they 'lowed as how long engagements run in their families. That is, Paula's runs. Norman
said his has been running so long that now it has to be carried.
Lonnie Whitworth has moved back and forth between Zephyrhills and Murfreesboro half a dozen times.
He can't seem to get Sue to move up there because of the altitude of those Tennessee mountains and his
great granpappy won't let him move the moonshine still to Florida.
Our loud-mouthed little walking vacuum, Patsy Kline, if you remember right, graduated from the
midget category the same time she graduated from school. She had 5/16 of an inch of height added onto
her shoe heels. This brought her up to 3 feet, 1/8 inch. Now working in a pressure cooker factory, she
stands inside the pressure cooker and checks the seal of the lid and installs the safety valves.
Joan Lefler, always the perfect "Angel" is now wearing the wings she wanted for so long. Of course,
she doesn't get a harp with these. They are some that Ralph wore the chrome bare and gave them to Joan
as a supplement to his engagement ring.
Patsy Ryals, the Canary of the airwaves as she is called on her radio program sponsored by Pulverized
Potato Peelings and Plaster of Paris for Palate Platering, " is grinding and whining out songs regularly every
blue Monday with old Grand paw Cornsilk and his Moonshine Music Manglers.
Bill Baker has a horse ranch on the new system of efficiency which he devised. The horses draw straws
to see which will blow reveille and round up the cowboys for branding when the time comes to pay them for
eating the grass which is a nuisance to the horses.
Ira Hill and Kenneth Keen invented a better mousetrap a few years ago and the world beat a path to
their door with unpaid bills. This mousetrap is made up of a miniature barroom with a trained mouse bar-
tender. When the Saturday nite gang of mice gets all sot up, the bouncer,a genuine midget rat terrier,
tosses them into the clinker for dusturbing the peace. This system is very effective, but the fire water runs
into money.