HomeMy WebLinkAbout0024 PROPHECY
Come with us, the Senior Class of 1960, as we journey around the world - and even beyond - to see
what the future holds for our incomparable classmates. Relax in the luxury of an ultra-modern jet
airliner as we taxi down the run-way and take off from Zephyrhills Airport.
First we cross the Atlantic to Ireland, the Emerald Isle, where Clayton Stokes is a national hero. By
accident, Clayton discovered 1001 new uses for the Irish potato; his book "Dig The Spud, Bud" is a
non-fiction best-seller. You see he wasn't called "Tater" for nothing.
Now to the continent: Madrid, Spain, on the day of a bullfight - and what a celebration! Lady mat-
ador, Donna Campbell is being hailed with showers of roses and shouts of "Ole!". Donna is too kind-
hearted to kill the bulls; she merely stuns them with a whiff of her favorite scent, "Petrifying".
In Paris, the fashion center of the world, Richard Riesen is the proprietor of Richards Chapeau Shoppe.
The advertising slogan which made his elaborate bonnets famous is: "My feather hats will tickle your
fancy. "
Rome, Italy, was just a city of ancient ruins until Larry "Legs" Benjamin, formerly the star of the
Bulldog Cagers, came to town to play pro basketball in the Colosseum. A capacity crowd saw Larry
defeat the Harlem Globetrotters single-handed.
Atop an Alpine peak there stands a familiar figure in a mountain climber's costume. Those legs -
I saw them in the 1960 Zephilsco. It must be Gary Crist! He married a charming Swiss lass, and is at
the moment practicing his newest talent - - Yodelinq!
Barbara Adams now lives with her husband in his native country of Germany. There she is teaching
her German-born children to say some very important American words, such as: "Hey, man, that's
real gone!" and "Like Wow!" and "You've got rocks in your head!", so they can converse with her
American Friends.
Our stewardessess on this flight around the world are Lynn Nichols and Edelma Sergey. In her spare
time, Lynn is teaching Mrs. Kaylor's English Class, while Mrs. Kaylor is in Stratford-on-Avon in England
gathering information for a thesis on "The Mole on Shakespeare's Left Elbow". After working hours,
Edelma sells souvenirs of Florida in Siberia. She is raking in money to be a lady miser.
While flying over the Dark Continent, we see a pleasant scene deep in the African jungle. Dedi
Anderson has fulfilled her ambition to teach elementary Spanish to little ones. After graduating from
Lady Knobhill's Finishing School, she is teaching the uses of the subjunctive to Pygmies.
On to the top of the world - Tibet - where Rae Foster is now a registered nurse. She graduated from
the University of Northern Tibet's School of Nursing. (Chemistry is not a required subject in Tibet.)
In Moscow we find businesswoman Elaine McKendree managing the Russian branch of Zephyr Brand
Dried Fruits, situated directly across from the Kremlin.
Confucius say, "We now nearing Hong Kong. Old classmate Janice Houck changee last name and she
and husband run rickshaw service. Their coolies are the coolest."
Now we fly "down under" to see the girl we knew as Judy Oliver. She and her husband haven't made
a fortune on their kangaroo ranch in Australia, but they always manage to stay a couple jumps ahead of
their creditors.
Patty Sante and Jerry Peters liked their Hawaiian honeymoon so well that they are now living in a
vine-covered beach hut on Waikiki Beach. Jerry commutes to the mainland and works hard in his
dad's office, trying to support a large family and a large charge account.
After encircling the globe, we pay a visit to our South American neighbors. Janet Weicht and Norman
Kirkland have gone into partnership and own a dry-cleaning plant on the Amazon River. They don't
clean clothes - they clean the natives.
Brazil is world-renowned not only for its coffee but also for Brenda Daughtery's Chiropractical Rumba
Studios for old men with arthritis. One, Two, Three, Ugh! One, Two, Three, Ouch!
As we approach Jamaica's shores, we hear a different rhythm; Barbara Haynes has that Calypso beat
as she dances on the sands. Irene Nichols is way out, man, as her bongo player. Day-0000000!
Nearing the end of our journey, we fly over the United States to Alaska. Frankie Coell and Cathy
Skinner were married after graduation and are residing in the Land of the Midnight Sun. They have a
huge split-level igloo with a double garage; you see, they are a two-dog-sled family.
Next, to the second largest state in the Union, where Pat Rowland has her hands full raising a family
of blonde cowboys and Indians on the Weicht's Texas ranch. Bruce belongs to the "Flying Farmers of
Texas", and the whole gang visits the Coells in Alaska by helicopter every weekend.
Another rich friend of ours, Lee Blackden, in 1961, made a billion clams on Fizzies stock in the stock
market phenomenon of all time. Lee is a philanthropist and travels incognito as a bum, enjoying the
art of simply living.
J.W. Wells is practicing law in Ohio, when he is not coaching the Cleveland Browns in football or
managing the Cleveland Indian Major League ball club. j.W. record is pretty good. He hasn't lost
one case or gridiron match, and the Indians are winning the World Series.
Fasten your seat belts as we circle Idlewild International Airport. We are landing at New York, the
Empire City, to visit the luxurious MAD Publications Offices, located at the corner of Fifth Avenue an(.
Tinn Can Alley (Rear).
Libby Jarrett, who nearly went ma--let us not use that term loosely - insane, while putting out the
Bulldog Bulletin in high school, is Editor-in-Chief of America's favorite magazine.
Pursuing his art talent, Preston Stricklnad is Chief Cartoonist and Cover Illustrator for MAD. Preston
is famous for his cover painting of Alfred E. Newman and the Prime Minister of Kalamazoo, matching
pennies.
Page Twenty