HomeMy WebLinkAbout0025 PROPHECY
Gary Martinson is the adventurer and feature writer. This month's issue carries his special article
"I CAPTURED THE FIERCE FENISCEA TARQUINUS", (better known as the common butterfly.)
Right now the MAD staff is launching a terrific sales campaign. Linda Lou Lohrum is the head sales-
woman. Her method of madness is very successful. Imitating Santa Claus, she slides down the chimney
if customers won't let her in the door.
Louise Leopold is the fashion coordinator on the MAD staff. Look for the famous "Leech" label on the
outside of your Mad T-shirts; no self-respecting Beatnik would be without one.
Speaking of Beatniks let's be sure to take in Greenwich Village while in New York. Dick Dayton has
taken residence there. His pad, dad, is the plainest, and he's the craziest of all the Boho's (Bohemians to
you squirrels).
Flying South toward home, we streak above our nations capital. Bonnie Reed was so impressed with
Washington when we went there on our class trip that she never left. She took a job as an elevator
operator in the Washington Monument, and was soon on her way up! Now Bonnie is a lady senator and
has passed a bill abolishing home-work for upperclassmen.
By the way, did you know that Bob Baggett was the first 19 year-old President of the United States?
His studies were interrupted for four years, but then he returned to Baylor University, and later graduated
from medical school with these degrees: M.D. , D.O., D.D.S., P.D., and A.R.S.( A Real Success)
in initials!
Vivian Geiger and Jeannette Howell, odd as it may sound, are now the leaders of a Boy Scout Troop.
They have slightly changed the purpose of the organization: the club is now for girls who want to scout
for boys.
We have completed our flight around the world and are now cruising over our home state of Florida,
where Robert Campbell has done earth-shaking things since graduation. He is now a big-time machine
salesman and made his first fortune by selling the state a new type of earth-moving machine, which
has been used to make a subdivision out of the Everglades.
L.B. Jones designed the new Chevy "bug" of the future, which is on display in Zephyrhills. This
unique little car doesn't run on gas, electricity, or solar energy - passengers pedal!
Cape Canaveral, Florida, will be our jet-liner's last stop. Della Fae Smith and Carolyn Jarrett have
top government positions there. Della Fae is a very private secretary for top secret operations and is
invaluable to the United States because she so confuses the records that the Russians can't possibly
decipher them. Carolyn, known as the "Girl with the Golden Finger", plays the most important part
in the launching of every missile - she pushes the button that fires it.
In keeping with our class motto of "Upward forever, ceasing never", some members of our class joined
the outer space movement which was sweeping the country in 1960, so we'll change our mode of travel
and visit them. Put on your space helmet, climb aboard the Interplanetary Rocket Strataliner, and
prepare to blast off. Five, four, three, two, one -- Thank you, Carolyn!
First the rocket must stop at the U.S. Space Station X69 to make final preparations for the long journey.
Here we find two familair figures. Joe Laviano, a good will trumpet player who quells international
crises with his soothing contemporary jazz, is currently giving a concert at the Interplanetary Summit
Conference. And remember Bill Simons, who always wanted a life of leisure? Well, in a fantastic
Physics experiment, Bill defeated the Law of Gravity and is now in a state of suspended animation,
floating along-side the Space Station one half mile up.
Leaving the Space Station, we have been provided with a guard of three to protect us from any un-
friendly spaceniks. Jimmy Kress, Victor Gerlach, and our one fly-girl, Juanita Summerall, are now
members of the Interplanetary Space Patrol, Huckleberry Hound Division.
At last we reach the ultimate point on our itinerary - the Moon! Here we find the two members of
our class who are the farthest out of all. Linda Freeburg and Sharon Forbes turned out to be pioneers.
After graduating from business college, they established their own college on the Moon. They have
the only accredited school that offers XLE-ORT for XLE-NITS. (That's Moon-talk for Simple Shorthand
for Simple-minded people.)
All that we, the Class of '60 have to add to these words of prophecy is: If this is the future, We Like It!.
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